Because everything can’t be a gold giving, wish granting unicorn and we all need to vent about the suck every once in a while.
Without further ado, my current list of top 10 things I think Suck:
1. Open faced sandwiches.
#SorryNotSorry .I loathe these pseudo sandwiches. Who do they think they are acting like the real thing? The second slice of bread is supposed to be there for a reason. It’s a buffer between you and all the messy ingredients underneath. I feel like an amateur rock climber trying to place my fingers on just the right edge to hold the damn thing because I really don’t want my fingers to sink into the quicksand of cheese on top. #ThingsThatShouldBeThrownInABlackHole
2. Expensive Race Pictures
I still don’t get why they don’t get it. If companies just lowered their prices a smidgen, their customer base would soar! Dear Insanely delusional photography co., a lot of people don’t bother to buy anything from you and would rather take a crappy self phone selfie than support your greedy empire. P.S.There’s a special place in runner’s hell for you.
3. Waiters/Waitresses that hover.
Oh my freaking god, I’m Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!! I promise. If we said we’re fine, please don’t proceed to stand there for what feels like an eternity staring. And do not continue stopping by the table every 5 minutes because I will most likely be mid chew or talking again which means I’ll either drop some food out of my mouth as I attempt to juggle the pasta and my one syllable response or interrupt my train of thought effectively derailing my conversation completely. I’ve been a waitress before and know that your clingy tableside demeanor is just NOT normal. When you do this constant check in, I feel like I’m in a fishbowl, and when you, crazy eager human, keep watching my every move, I get creeped out and want to leave. ::Shivers::
4. Making it difficult to unsubscribe from your e-mails.
It says “One click to unsubscribe” So why then do you ask me to input my 10 digit uppercase letter and number combination password for a site I don’t even remember registering for? Damn you heathens. I’ll just continue to waste the 3 seconds it takes to delete your crappy newsletter EVERY SINGLE DAY. You: 1 Me: 0.
5. People that sigh a lot.
I get it, you’re bored, upset, frustrated or all three but cannot muster the energy to express what’s bothering you. So instead, I have to listen to the constant sighs that you no longer notice you’re emitting at a steady pace of 1 per minute. Either vent properly or save that hostile dragon puff breath for when you’re alone.
6. People that don’t use turn signals.
Oh you’re going to turn right now? Gee, I should’ve expected that with all of that magic psychic ability I just inherited. I’m so sorry I just slammed my breaks, most likely scaring you terribly this morning. I do sincerely hope you’ll forgive me for not activating my gypsy sense to avoid almost hitting your car.
7. Double Negatives.
I can’t not want to slap people upside the head whenever they use one of these statements. Even typing that felt wrong. Just say what you mean in clear English and I won’t hurt you with my death stare.
8. Passive Aggressive Vague Postings On Facebook.
You know who you are (haha I’m being vague now too! sucks doesn’t it?) When you post these vague declarations of injustice without mentioning the person’s name I think 1. You’re a coward 2. I’m now sucked into your drama and curious to know who you’re talking about. 3. Are you talking about me?? nah. No but seriously, who are you talking about? Either way, just please stop. Your word piles of negativity suck and I gravitate towards wanting to read happy things. When in doubt on FB, keep things simple yet concise and erring on the positive. No one wants to know that you’re having shitty day #103 and that you think there is a person, who shall not be named, that ruins everything with their sarcastic attitude and should look at their own life before judging yours but you’ll be the bigger person and just carry on except for the posting you’ll make 3 days later about the same person. NO. JUST NO.
9. ATMs that only give out multiples of 20.
I’d be ecstatic if one day I could take out exactly what I need! It seems like every rare time I need to take money out of an ATM, it is because I need to withdraw an amount that is not a multiple of 20. Which means dear crappy machine, instead of the $50 I need, I now need to take out $60 which we all know will be spent even though I had no plans to use it. Seriously, what the hell is up with this rule anyway? It’s 2013! Why can’t we take out any multiple? $5….$10…singles for those seedy individuals? w/e I won’t judge. Just let me take out multiples of $10 at least. It’ll help me spend less and save more. Pretty please?
10. Running like Hell and Missing a PR by seconds or just a minute.
You crossed the finish line, your lungs are burning, and mid-inhale you realize just how close to a sub (insert time here) 5k, half marathon, marathon, or Boston qualifying you were!!! Argh!! you scream internally and sometimes out loud by mistake to the surprise of endorphin pumped runners nearby. If your shoe hadn’t untied, if you’d peed faster, hadn’t been caught behind the walker, hadn’t grabbed that water or listened to a faster song instead of your favorite Boyz 2 Men slow jam which messed up your pacing, you would’ve totally nabbed a best time!! Sucks to be so close but so damn far. Now all you have to do is train for months, pay another registration fee, have the stars align, and run a hard effort again to have a chance to achieve your goal.
So there it is. Just a few of the many things that suck. It’s a good thing there are so many more amazing things in life to be grateful for! Otherwise we’d all walk around sighing and passive aggressively posting on Facebook. Don’t do that
In the meantime……It’s Your Turn!
What do you think sucks right now?
Any pet peeves?
I’d looooove to know. Don’t worry, It’s o.k. to vent. This is your free pass today!